Jehovah’s Witness Elders Ask Child Rape Victim How Far Apart Her Legs Were During Her Attack

Originally posted on JWVICTIMS.ORG:

Just when I think I’ve heard it all when it comes to how Jehovah’s Witnesses have been handling accusations of child rape in their organization, another story comes out that turns my stomach and causes the rage to bubble over. This latest story is from the Berry congregation in the U.K., where elder Mark Sewell was recently convicted of a string of sexual crimes including rape. In court it was revealed that Sewell consistently uses his position as an elder to force young women into lurid behavior, including giving them topless massages, rubbing his groin against them, and forcing them to kiss him. He also outright raped one woman who became pregnant with, and later miscarried, his child.

As the women finally came forward as adults, the other elders in the Berry congregation resisted legal orders to reveal what they knew of the case and were forced to testify by subpoena alone. They…

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Raymond Franz speaks & Truth vs Error


Raymond Franz, former member of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses, spoke The Truth About The Truth.

Originally posted on Jlue's Weblog:

Within minutes of the video playing, Mr. Franz begins to speak in English.

Truth vs Error

Raymond Franz was born and raised in the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society Cult. He spent much of his life believing what he was taught to believe, however, he was enlightened when he was chosen to serve on the Governing Board. He has written a book entitledCrises of Consciencethat, according to the former witnesses testimonies, Jehovah’s Witnesses are forbidden to read.

If you find this to be helpful, please share with others.

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A Stressful Few Days

So I have been under the weather for the past few days plus there was added stress the past couple days that threw me into a near-crisis mode.  It started on Monday night, the stressing out that is. My husband was looking at the bill from our cable company and we were commenting on how our bill is forever fluctuating.  We’ve been billed for things that we were told we wouldn’t be billed for, we were accused of damaging the router for our bundled internet after we moved from our last home to this home (which is pretty blatantly incorrect considering that in the old house the router sat atop my desk in a corner that was blocked off from our pets and any child that might have been in our home.  There was positively no damage done to the router in that home.  In our new home the router sits in a spot between our bed and my nightstand, also blocked off from any of our pets and from any child that might be in our house).  I am known for taking extreme caution on these devices because if I lose my internet or my cable I tend to go crazy.  I have to have something occupying my time in an educational way, I have to watch my documentaries, biographies, etcetera etcetera.  And recently my internet has been going in and out badly and this is a brand new router that they are charging us for every month, brand new so I doubt it’s actually the router.  My husband picks up his phone after seeing a commercial for DirectTV and called them to just get an estimate on a monthly bill with the satellite service and the internet.  I hear him talking about all the different plans, what’s included on this or that and after running all the numbers and crap, we discover that even with the NFL Sunday Ticket, the awesome channels that I love like Discovery and History plus ones that I didn’t even know existed, it’s cheaper by almost $40! I’m sitting there on our couch, no longer interested in the rerun of “Salem” (very interesting take on the events of Salem, Mass at the time of the infamous witch trials), nodding my head enthusiastically saying, “Get it, get it, get it” while texting my best bud up in the very beautiful state of Colorado about it and he’s telling me the same thing! Problem was, neither my husband nor I really believe in carrying plastic – we do not have a bank account, do not want a bank account. DirectTV needs a credit card to run.  The roommate offers up his card for the $1 fee right then because we can always load money on a prepaid card to pay the bill.  It’s declined.  I go and check the website for Arizona’s child support system since I have a massive amount of money in arrears owed to me.  Thing is, I wasn’t expecting to see any money on the account since there had not been a payment since April of 2011.  My jaw hit the floor when I saw that my son’s father had actually paid into the account since March, right after the last time I had checked if there was anything on the account.  But this opened up an entire new can of worms for me.  See, back in December of 2011 I had my ID and bank card stolen.  I had reported the card as stolen to the bank immediately (not that there was anything on it but perhaps something like 4 cents.  Literally) and they reissued me a card.  I couldn’t remember if I had activated the card back then or not.  I had written on the back my usual “Ask for ID” so I thought I had.  I called the card and it said that there was no money in the account.  I went online to card services and saw that I had not activated the card, so I went and activated this card online.  After activating it, I discovered that there was still a $0 balance on it.  Now I’m getting really frustrated and upset and worried.  What did I do wrong?  Was the account hacked?  Did someone else have access to that account somehow and was wiping out the money as soon as it came in? It’s after 9 p.m. and I can’t call child support or card services.  I get myself to finally calm down, the wonderfully nice lady on the phone with my husband made sure that the offer we had qualified for would be still available to us for a few more days while we got the situation cleared up.  I truly wish I had her name so I could thank her personally for being such a wonderfully awesome lady, though I do know that she is somewhere in Florida.  Thank you, nameless lady!!!  The next day my husband’s boss allowed us to use his card to get this all started (thank you, Mr. Boss Man) while I called child support and Chase bank.  The bank was decent dealing with and the very polite customer service woman with them was very understanding of my anxiety and stress as I do not like to talk on the phone.  She informed me that Chase bank no longer does the Arizona Child Support accounts.  She gave me what information she could and even verified that I did in fact have Child Support’s number.  It was calling child support that stressed me out the worst.  I was disconnected multiple times, unable to transfer, unable to select options to direct me to the right department to talk to, after being on hold for nearly an hour I get this rude man on the other line.  I’m already now in a bad mood and fighting a severe anxiety attack.  I’m being snappy and he starts to get an attitude with me.  Absolutely the wrong thing to do with me.  I’ve worked customer service before.  I’ve worked call centers before.  Call center people catch all kinds of hell from the people on the other line, believe me I have heard my fair share and I have given my fair share as a customer.  I do not like calling customer service.  I snapped at the guy that he works customer service and he is required to maintain a level of professionalism and basically let customer’s attitudes roll off of his back like water off a duck’s back.  When a customer is already in a foul mood, a rude person on the other end only aggravates that mood into something much worse.  I finally get through all of his stuff, verifying I am who I am, that my address is this or that, my phone is this number, yada yada yada, right? Right.  So he gets all my new information and tells me that I have to wait til today to call the new bank in charge of child support payments, Bank of America.  I’m thinking to myself, oh lovely, I’ve had to deal with B of A before and I’m not fond of B of A.  But fast forward to today.  After putting the call off for most of the morning, I finally break down and pick up my phone and dial.  I must have hit the disconnect key when I went to hold my phone between my shoulder and ear as I was in the middle of typing up a comment on a blog entry I had read about Jehovah’s Witnesses (really well written on a topic that is a sore point with me).  I redial and start thinking to myself, “Here we go again, stress already rising.” I was on hold for less than two minutes when I heard the lovely voice of what sounded like a very young lady.  She verified all of my information and pulled up my account and informed me that my new card was sent out today already.  It was that simple.  I was on and off with her in less than ten minutes.  Yesterday when I hung up with child support, I had such the stress headache I was down for the count, stuck in bed sucking down Tylenol in a vain attempt to get rid of the headache.  Today I am in a good mood (save for a slight headache that I had woken up with).  

Now, I know that I shouldn’t have been so short with the guy from child support yet I still stand by my statements of “it comes with the territory of customer service work” and my defense of “I do not handle stress in a healthy way, it buries me and raises my anger.  I do not like being stuck spinning my wheels and unable to change the way things are going so badly that it flips the switch from “Nice Mandi” to “Queen Bitch Mandi”.  I believe that my inability to handle stress is a result of having six mental health diagnoses which includes anxiety issues.  I really wasn’t this bad until the past few years when my anger seemed to erupt like a volcano waking from it’s millennia long slumber.  Have been trying to regain that sense of calm and serenity when dealing with people.  Is it a degeneration of my mental health or is it just tired of dealing with people’s crap? I don’t know.  


But I do know that my dogs are now barking for my attention and since I’m feeling so much better than I have in the past few days, I’m going to go for a walk with my babies.     

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The Importance of Knowing God’s Name…

Originally posted on Jlue's Weblog:

How important is it to know God’s name?

Watchtower thinks it is “essential for salvation.” This is a quote taken from one of their publications:

Using the word Jehovah is essential for salvation. “Everyone who calls on the name of Jehovah will get away safe; … (Joel 2:32) (NWT)Jehovah’s Witnesses are truly grateful to know Jehovah’s name, and they have complete trust that he will save them when they call on him.”Watchtower 1998 May 1 p.19

In the book of Joel 2:32, the New English Translation reads as follows:

32 And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.  For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be those who escape, as the LORD has said, and among the survivors shall be those whom the LORD calls.

John 3Every word in the Bible is important. Jesus said it…

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Who is Yahweh?

Yahweh. Who is he?  The Jehovah’s Witnesses state that Jehovah is Yahweh, a name formed from the Tetragrammaton.  They state that this is the god of the Israelites, the god of Abraham.  If you ask a Jehovah’s Witness, they most likely do not know the history of the name Yahweh and where it originated from.  As I am doing my own research on the Jehovah’s Witness cult and the psychological effects that cult life cause I decided that I would research the name Yahweh itself.  Mind you, I have a lot of reading to do with the name and have been busy taking notes on what I’ve been able to find online.  I figured I would share with my fellow bloggers what I’ve been reading on that mysterious name of Yahweh.  Very enlightening so to speak as my mind tumbles down the rabbit hole of discovery again.

First let’s look at the origin of the name “Yahweh”.  Yahweh is not a Hebrew name.  It is actually classified as Phoenician – Canaanite in origin. Wait, Canaanite???  Weren’t the Canaanites an evil & depraved people?  Weren’t the ancient Israelites told to completely obliterate the peoples within the land of Canaan?  Weren’t all things in Canaan to be destroyed? Doesn’t the scripture read “Tell the Israelites: When you go across the Jordan into the land of Canaan, drive out all the inhabitants of the land before you; destroy all their stone figures and molten images, and demolish all their high places….But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land before you, those whom you allow to remain will become as barbs in your eyes and thorns in your country where you live, and I will treat you as I had intended to treat them.” (Numbers 33:50-52, 33:55 NAB)  The name Yahweh might have be an epithet of the deity named “El” originally which was part of the Bronze Age Canaanite pantheon. Though it appears that Yahweh was unique to those of the kingdoms of Israel and Judah, Yahweh might have been worshipped south of the Dead Sea 300 years previous to the Israelites according to the Kenite hypothesis which states that the Hebrews actually had adopted the cult worship of Yahweh from the Midianites (which as I have been reading into the hypothesis I will most likely make an entry on that subject.)

The belief in Yahweh was the religion of the Royal Court who promoted him as the supreme deity over all others in the Canaanite pantheon.  As time went on, Yahwism become increasingly intolerant of any rivals.  It was at the time of the Babylonian exile that the belief in any other deities was finally being denied.  It was at that time that Yahweh was proclaimed to be the creator of the universe and the only true god over all the world.  (Sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it?)


Let’s look at the statement about Yahweh being the epithet of the Canaanite god “El”.  Who is El? El is the Semitic word for “deity” and was known as the Father of Humanity and all creatures.  It can also mean “mighty”  though that usage might have been metaphorical.  Well, that sounds pretty much how Jehovah’s Witnesses believe about “their” Jehovah. The Oxford Companion to World Mythology states “It seems almost certain that the God of the Jews evolved gradually from the Canaanite El, who was in all likelihood the ‘God of Abraham’.  El was a father god, married to Asherah and father to Ba’al Hadad among many other gods and is thought to have been a desert god.  Is there mention of El in the Bible?  Here’s where we see why it is important to research.  I could not find any mention of El in the Christian bible but it dawned on me to go to an online Jewish bible (since I do not have a hard copy) and looked up a scripture that I had been told mentioned El.  It is found in the telling of Abram.  “Malki-Tzedek king of Shalem brought out bread and wine. He was cohen of El ‘Elyon [God Most High], so he blessed him with these words: “Blessed be Avram by El ‘Elyon, maker of heaven of earth.  and blessed be El ‘Elyon, who handed your enemies over to you.” Avram gave him a tenth of everything.” (Genesis 14:18-20, Complete Jewish Bible And so you don’t have to break out your bible to read how it is stated in the Christian version of the Hebrew Scriptures, “And Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine; now he was a priest of God Most High. He blessed him and said, “Blessed be Abram of God Most High, Possessor of heaven and earth; And blessed be God Most High, Who has delivered your enemies into your hand.” He gave him a tenth of all.” (NASB) In fact, the form ‘El’ appears in even the names of the Israelites from every period, look at the name Israel itself, Christians say that this name means “Who prevails with God”, or “El Strives” or “struggled with El”.   I intend to make an entry on the subject of Asherah, the wife of El but I am not going to delve into that subject much on this entry. 

*As I have been writing this entry I’ve been doing some minor research on this subject still.  I am continuously refining this blog with additional information but it has been a few days since I posted.  Therefore I am going to post what I have so far and I will make more entries as I continue on. *








Okay, I really don’t know how to put this one down so bear with me, okay? 

Yesterday I posted an article on my Google+ account from the website e-watchman.  I’ve always been a bit dubious of the e-watchman website since I came across it.  It comes across as an apologetic’s view of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and their publishing company of the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society (WBTS).  I’ve read it here and there, a couple articles have struck me as being rather good and to the point.  I know a lot of people who are attending meetings at their local Kingdom Hall that are not yet baptized and are actually critical of the religion and calling for reform.  That’s an entirely whole different blog entry for me there. 

Anyhow, I posted this article from the site that asked how many will be stumbled.  It very pointedly said that many of those who call themselves Jehovah’s Witnesses are being led astray by it’s publishing company, WBTS.  This is something that I agree with, many who call themselves ‘faithful servants of the Almighty God, Jehovah’ are actually ‘faithful servants of the Almighty Watchtower’, thinking that because the WBTS call themselves the mouthpiece of Jehovah God that they are infallible (oh, do I recall a Watchtower from the 80s that asked if the Pope was infallible?).  All things from the WBTS must be spoken and preached because Jehovah instructed it, right?  They seem to forget that, according to their own ideology, that there have only been two, count them, Adam and Jesus, perfect men that have walked the earth (let’s not forget the one perfect woman “Eve” but I don’t recall them ever saying how Eve was created by god as well so therefore she must have been perfect as well….mmmm, I see another entry in just that statement alone).  If they, those members of the Governing Body and the multitude of people who write the articles and publications are born imperfect, wouldn’t their publications be perceived as imperfect as well? Aren’t there bound to be mistakes in publications that are written by men?  Oh I can hear the comments coming from the JW camp on that, “The WBTS is Jehovah’s mouthpiece, all their direction is from God himself and is law” but yet if you point out their failed prophecies such as the wonderful 1975 day of Armageddon, they will state how they are imperfect, mistakes were made, blah blah blah blah.  They contradict their own statements by trying to defend themselves.  

Anyhow, I get a comment made on the article I posted that stated the article came from an apostate site.  When I call the person out on it, basically saying to him that stating it’s an apostate website is kind of unnecessary since it’s evident that it speaks against the WBTS (not Jehovah) and they seem to think that any negative to the WBTS thing website must make it an apostate site (let’s not even get into how they have warped the very definition of the word apostate and that unless they are born-ins, they are all apostates to their former religious faiths and political parties and such…this is proven by a cursory look up of the word in any dictionary).  The guy says that he’s warning his brothers and sisters (why does that make me think of the story of Cain and Abel when Cain asks God, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”) about the site and that I had hashtagged it (under a few hashtags such as #Jehovahswitnesses #Watchtower and that’s my usual when posting something related to them) in a community that he follows.  So I point out that his own Governing Body cautions them not to comment on vlogs, videos, blogs, threads started by “apostates” and yet he felt this need to comment on my thread, me falling into the category of being an apostate because of my stance with that “religion” *coughcultcough*.  He quotes a statement made by Jesus to Satan when Satan is tempting him with all the kingdoms of the world and yada yada yada, you all should be somewhat familiar with the story if you’re familiar with the Bible and Jesus says “Get behind me, Satan”.  I found this funny since I recognized where the quote comes from timewise, that he’s basically calling me a Satan, a devil, a demon, whatever.  I mention how I don’t even believe in that made up story of god and why say, ‘get behind me, Satan’, is that suppose to make me afraid?  Why should I even be afraid of another made up entity?  I have yet to receive any further comments since then, why is up to speculation.  

But this got me thinking about the hashtagging.  Just because you come across a hashtag on an article that is against your viewpoint, you know that this person is most likely a person that you shouldn’t even be speaking to (in the JW religion for instance), that it’s going to be a pointless discussion, why do they STILL feel the need to make some stupid comment like “apostate site”? What their fellow congregants can’t make that distinction themselves?  Do they think that their statements of “repent to god” is going to make someone suddenly see “the errors of their ways”? Do they truly feel that they are so above everyone else that they have become swelled up with pride, think of themselves as being somehow important? 

I don’t know, all I know is that I see so many things stated by people that I know no matter what I say is not going to change the mind of a person so I refrain from making some snap comment.  (Rather I wait and think about wording and then make some kind of post or, like right now, a blog entry.)  I don’t know, the more and more I see Jehovah’s Witnesses confront former members or people that speak out against them and I see their arrogance (not in all) it makes me recall the Sermon on the Mount with Jesus speaking what we know call “The Beatitudes” , 

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. ( Matthew 5:3-11)





Ramblings On Being a Creature of Habit

This is more or less a ramble.  

I am still feeling manic, mind is jumping from one subject to another. I am also feeling very emotional today in that I have experienced waves of irritation, depression and frustration.  I’m having more back pain today than I normally do but I have been pushing myself to accomplish just a little bit more than I normally do lately.  I am not liking how it is now taking longer and longer to clean up my house,and this is just the normal day-to-day cleaning.  The muscles in my shoulders feel like they are permanently kinked and will never stop aching.  I woke up more tired than usual and my irritation started before I even really climbed out of bed.  The youngest pup, Syndell, was whimpering at the door to be let out when she heard the roommate up and showering.  I didn’t want to crawl out of bed, I was so tired and I don’t know why.  It was 11 when I finally was able to go to sleep last night but it usually doesn’t stop me from being up at 6 and getting coffee started and a jump on the morning news and going through my emails.  But for some reason I am off my a-game today.  My clock reads that it’s just after 2 p.m. but I feel like it’s only about 11 a.m.  The joys of sleeping in and getting thrown off for the entire day.  

Maybe that’s it.  My husband had to take Tuesday off of work thanks to that wonderful “lottery” of being mailed a card from the courts that your name is in the jury duty pool.  He wasn’t called to serve on a jury but he did lose a day of work and since I am such the person for routine that I do feel that my week is completely off.  And this is the week that he does an overnight shift on Sunday which will throw next week slightly off.  

I swear, some people think it’s great to screw with a person who has OCD and such but I don’t find it in any way funny to throw me off of a schedule that I am accustomed to.  One little wrench in what is suppose to be routine throws me off completely and can as it has in the past thrown me into a full blown anxiety induced tizzy.  I am not afraid to admit that and I don’t use that as an excuse to be “childish”.  It is very embarrassing to me to deal with a meltdown and find myself in a major disoriented tizzy reminiscent of a teenage drama queen crying over a stain on her favorite shirt.  That’s why I usually end up “locking” myself up in my room and “going deaf” (my terminology for putting music on very loud to where I don’t hear people around me) until I am able to bring myself back around to “normal”.  Anyone who thinks that I enjoy that behavior really needs to see me behind “locked doors” to see how I fight with myself over my reactions, how I berate myself for that not being “normal” behavior, that I shouldn’t be melting down over something so trivial as an unexpected unannounced visit from a friend.  

I think that might be it.  My hubby was home all day Tuesday and is home all day today (as this is his usual day off) and I feel torn between spending time with him but feeling the pressure of taking care of the housecleaning that I have been trying to get taken care of and doing my research and going through all the email newsletters I get.  

Silly, isn’t it?  All thrown off completely because my husband has an extra day off of work this week.  And lovely, on Easter Sunday when others don’t have to work, he’ll be sleeping in the middle of the day so that he can be at work that night and bust his ass like he always does working until almost 4 a.m. and then he gets to start on his Monday shift, which thankfully they keep short on the days that he has worked the night previous.  My weeks are all screwy. 

People think screwing with people like me’s schedule is fun?  Maybe for them, but for me it’s a major stresser that makes me frantic for most of the day and sometimes into the next day.  Yeah…fun.